For years, I've had passing thoughts about removing the secondary muffler on the 911. The primary muffler I replaced over twenty years ago with a pipe fabricated by Midwest Eurosport. They basically cut the ends off the primary muffler and welded a pipe in the middle.
When the engine was resealed in 2024, my brother generously replaced the corroding part with a beautiful stainless steel piece from Fabspeed. It felt great to have the new pipe in place and the car back on the road!
As 2024 faded, I continued to think about replacing the secondary muffler. As I tend to do, I spent time reading and researching and pondering. I happened across this video, and was captivated:
I really liked the sound, and after much hemming and hawing, decided to do it. Installing this pipe wasn't about improving performance or losing weight, it was all about changing the sound.
My brother once again exhibited his limitless generosity by shipping a the appropriate part from Fabspeed to my door. It arrived looking magnificent in fresh stainless steel:
After receiving the part, I promptly weighed it out of curiosity.
Weighing in at 2 pounds 5.6 ounces, the pipe itself is light and beautifully fabricated.
Then it was a matter of turning some wrenches to drop the old muffler and get the new pipe in place. I get a little thrill every time I use the toolkit that came with the 911 to work on the car.
I knew I needed a 13mm wrench to loosen the clamps holding the secondary muffler in place, and I also knew that's one of the wrenches in the tool kit. So, I got the wrench and my socket set, then got down and unfastened the clamps holding the exhaust tip to the secondary muffler and the secondary muffler to the primary bypass pipe.
The guy in the YouTube video had his bumper off which made the wrenching pretty easy. I didn't want to do that. At first, I thought I could get the secondary muffler off with the car resting on its four wheels. After crawling under the car, it became immediately clear that I didn't have the angle on the screws that hold the secondary muffler to the frame. So, I got the car up in the air and took the right rear tire off. That made it much more accessible.
Here are the bolts I couldn't quite get to with the wheel on the car and the car on the ground:
After taking out those two bolts, the muffler was free. I was careful to place a box under the muffler so it didn't fall to the ground. Ah, so much more space:
Here's a different angle on it, where you can see the exit of the primary bypass pipe:
With the secondary muffler off the car, it was time for it to weigh in. It tips the scales at slightly over 20 pounds. Visually, there's a massive difference:
Clearly, the new pipe is significantly smaller and lighter. OK, the next step was to connect the new part to the primary bypass. This was pretty easy. I just had to pry the clamp apart, fit the pipes together, and tighten the bolt:
OK, looking good here, just missing the tip!
One fun part of this project was that I was able to do it with my brother on FaceTime. It was cool, I have a kickstand case for my phone, so I could just set him on the ground so he could see the progress I was making. He also took a couple of FaceTime videos that captured me trying to get the exhaust tip attached to the secondary bypass:
He also caught this picture, which looks like it could be an ad for Fabspeed.
After more time than I thought it would take, I finished up. It took a little longer than I thought since I was working alone, getting the exhaust tip lined up:
With the exhaust buttoned up, it was time to give it a go.
Here's what the car sounded like for the past 20 years or so. I think it sounds great.
Here's the first cold start without the secondary muffler:
I immediately giggled. I think it sounds like a cup car. I took my daughters for a quick spin, and completely approved. With the oil nice and warm, here's a start and some revs:
As you can hear by my daughter's commentary at the end, the sound is a winner.
I've been enjoying driving it around, it sounds great:
After driving it for a couple of weeks, the exhaust tip worked itself loose. I clearly didn't tighten the clamp tightly enough. So, one evening my daughter gave me a hand. She held the exhaust tip while I tightened up the clamp and applied a little locktite to the bolt. Everything looks great:
One of my friends has a beautiful white Audi S5 Sportback. It's a stunning car, and it has four beautiful chrome tailpipes. However, the engine has direct injection, which produces soot, which then stains the tailpipes black. I know this from experience, as the GLI suffers from the same effect. Here's what the tailpipes look like when they're clean:
If you don't keep on top of keeping the pipes clean, they accumulate soot:
Dirty pipes that should be clean drive me crazy. Dirty pipes also expose one of my biggest automotive design pet peeves: the fake exhaust pipe. Why why why put a fake exhaust pipe on a car? You'll start seeing them when you look around - a car with more than one exhaust pipe, one of them is clean, the other is filthy. Fake pipe, just there for style. Drives me crazy, just skip it!
Anyway, back to the S5. I've been telling my friend for years that he has to clean the pipes on his S5. Every time I'd see his beautiful car, it was marred by the dirty, crusty, soot-covered pipes. You couldn't even tell the the tips were chrome. Those pipes are meant to be clean!
My friend and I work together, so one day, after verifying that he was going to be on campus, I snuck out to the parking lot, armed with some Bar Keepers Friend, a sponge, some paper towels, and some rubber gloves. After scrubbing those pipes for about 40 minutes, I got them to the point where they'd pass the "10 foot test." If you get up close to them, you can tell they need a bit more attention, but from 10 feet away, the improvement is noticeable.
I left him a little note under his windshield wiper, telling him I just couldn't take it any more. Later that evening, I got one of my favorite text messages:
I admit that I'm a strange car-obsessed man, but I think it's a good kind of strange.
I really enjoy The Car Podcast with Chris Harris and Friends. These are car-obsessed folks about my age, so unsurprisingly, I connect with many of their opinions about cars. They recently recorded a live podcast during which they took questions from the audience.
One question I really liked was, "If you had 24 hours to turn a non-petrolhead into a petrolhead, what are you doing, where are you going, and what kind of car are you driving." While the answers were all reasonable, I thought they were reasonable if you were predisposed to liking cars.
For example, taking a 964 RS to a race track is fun if you like driving cars on race tracks. Passengers, especially if they're not predisposed to that experience. Driving on a race track is exciting and fun. Being a passenger on a race track can make you nauseous.
My answer is much different. My answer is simple - let the person experience a car where the roof disappears. Why? Because I think almost everything is better outside. There's something about infinite space in your peripheral vision that is appealing. I like being outside, as it lets the eye wander and explore:
You don't even have to be in a place of particular magnificence, just walking through a park is a delight:
An open top car is simply magic. Speed is irrelevant. You can be going 20 mph or 120 mph, and it's equally magical. Pottering along slowly, you are immersed in your surroundings, kind of like riding a motorcycle. You smell flowers, feel the chill in the air when you drive close to a lake or through a grove of trees. You can't help but smile.
I honestly don't think it matters which convertible you put a person in. Without a roof, everything beyond the windshield's frame extends your visibility to infinity.
While all open top cars are magical, there's something special about a two-seat roadster. It's whimsical, frivolous, and fun. It's potent, powerful, and purposeful. It's sleek, svelte, and sexy. You end up with faces that look like this:
So, how would I create a car person? I'd slide them into the driver's seat of a convertible, have them put the top down, watch them smile, and go for a drive. The destination wouldn't matter. Of course, a drive by the ocean or in the mountains would be magnificent and enhance the experience. But even something as routine as dropping a kid off at school or getting groceries is transformed into an adventure.
If you need a car, plan on making a convertible part of your life at some point. Trust me, it will be as transformational for you as it is for the car as its top disappears from view.
Automobiles are not merely transportation capsules. They are art, inspiration, dreams fulfilled, future possibilities, magic. Automobiles have the power to transform people's lives. Automobiles are about emotion, about creating faces like this:
I originally hosted this video on YouTube, but it was taken down because of a violation of "child safety standards." I filed an appeal, which was denied. This makes zero sense to me, and Enzo isn't driving the car, he's just starting it. Give me strength, this overly paranoid world. I'm so irritated.
</rant>
And about the exhilarating feel of acceleration:
Magic cars transform their operators into joyous beings, dancing in the driver's seat:
In a world filled with transportation appliances, there are cars that kindle feelings of magic, of delight. One of my favorite advertisements of all times captures the spirit of the automobile in a way I profoundly connect with:
