Perseverance

In 2025, I became a Notre Dame Virtue Fellow through our Institute for Social Concerns Integrating Virtue Together initiative. As part of going through that program, I've started integrating virtues intentionally into my courses. Specifically, I emphasize neighborliness, curiosity, perseverance, and integrity.

I'd like to spend a moment reflecting on the importance of perseverance. Enzo has been training in taekwondo for about three years. He's to the point where he's going to test for his first degree black belt. However, before he can do that, he has to pass a fitness test. The test consists of a 5K run, a written test, max number of pushups in a minute, hold a plank for as long as possible (max points available at 2 minutes 30 seconds), punch with intensity for a minute, and max the number of round kicks on a bag for a minute with each leg. The faster the 5K, the more points. The more questions correct on the written test, the more points.  The more pushups, the more points. The longer the plank, the more kicks, well, I think you get the "point." Har har har.

It's not an easy test. He first started training for the 5K a year ago, then twisted his ankle and was in a walking boot for 5 or 6 weeks. After that, he started training again....and at the end of a run, twisted his ankle in a hole, back in a boot for 5 or 6 weeks. It's been a heck of a long slog.

And the first time he attempted it, he fell short by 4 points. Not massive in the grand scheme of things, but absolutely gutting for him. He was so disappointed, he didn't want to go back. He started hating taekwondo. He was in a vile mood every time he had to practice. Mostly because he was deeply embarrassed. He's a deep feeler (I wonder where he gets that...) and thought everyone saw him as a failure.

Allison and I worked hard to convince him that nothing could be further from the truth. We tried to explain that everyone believes in him, and knows he can do it, and wants him to be successful.

It was an agonizing bit of parenting. "Should we let him quit? He can't build the failure muscle, he needs to develop his resilience muscle!"

I talked about it with his favorite instructor, who coincidentally, is also a big feeler.  She pulled him aside and told him the story of the first time she took the fitness test.  She failed it.  And she didn't try again for 9 years.  "Don't do that," she said.

That night, he was optimistic for the first time, and told Allison that if he could, he'd book another lesson with his favorite instructor.  So we did.

This past weekend was the day to try again.  He was fiercely nervous, saying "I have a deal with Mom, if I don't make it, I'm never going back!!!!"  But we knew, based on his training, that he had points to play with and should be successful.  

Despite the fact that she had a lacrosse game later that day, Madeline agreed to run the 5K with him.  He was wearing his new sneakers and an Intake magnetic nose piece.  Allison and I were going for every psychological advantage possible.  He was super amped up and nervous.

Madeline and Enzo waiting for the start

They had to do four circuits of a running path to hit the 5K mark, and I was taking splits on my phone.  After the first split, I was amazed, and knew he was running faster than he needed to be running to get the points required to pass the test.

Always good to have someone pace you when running!

After sprinting home, he was pretty wiped out:

The stopwatch didn't lie - with Madeline right beside him, he cut 4 minutes of his best 5K time, netting him a nice haul of points.  And we knew that would help him psychologically, knowing he had points in the bag going into the next phase of the test.

Go Enzo go!

We packed up and headed to the studio for the written test.

Working hard!

He was feeling good about the written test, and with that done, it was time for pushups and the plank.  Again, the importance of a coach can't be understated.  His favorite instructor urged him on, and he blew past his personal pushup best by an additional 10 pushups, and he held his plank for 2 minutes 30 seconds, netting maximum points for that event.

Working those pushups!

After an intense minute punching the bag, it was time for kicks.  Once again, his coach urged him on, and he surpassed his personal best by 15 kicks on his right let and 10 on his left!

85 kicks in a minute!

70 kicks in a minute!

When the test was done, all of the instructors went into the back room to tally scores, grade the written test, and determine who had passed.  Enzo was the first person the instructors announced when they came back into the room:

The joy and the relief and the celebration!!!!!  He added 9 points to his previous score, acquiring 5 more than required to pass the test!  Enzo was a very, very happy boy, and celebrated with his coach:

Ms. Gallegos and Enzo

We went out for a celebratory lunch at Chick-fil-A:

Happy Enzo, Happy Allison!

It was such a victorious moment!!!!!  Allison and I were so happy for him, and of course so proud of him.  But mostly happy for him, because he proved to himself that he can do hard things!  He told Allison that he has never been more proud of anything else in his life.

Yes!  That's the feeling to chase forever!  Do hard things!  Do things that scare you!  Do things that stretch you and take you out of your comfort zone!  For the feeling of accomplishment is just magnificent.

I have no doubt this will be something he looks back on in years to come when things get hard.  His perseverance muscles are growing, and that's exactly what we want for all our children.  Work hard.  Work harder.  Take on challenges.  And keep on chasing that feeling of victory.